The "S" Word!!

I've decided in order to make things less confusing, I am giving my daughters fictitious names instead of just saying "my oldest daughter" or oftentimes just "my daughter" because I do have two daughters but mostly just talk about the youngest, who is the one suffering with mental illnesses.

• 15 year old: Britney
• Bipolar 1 ultra-rapid cycling and at times ultradian cycling, mixed episodes
• PTSD
• OCD
• ODD
• Panic Disorder
• Social Anxiety
• 19 year old: Haley
• does not live at home
• attends college

Friday I took Britney to have a mental evaluation for the Disability Determination Board, in our efforts to get Social Security Disability for her. This is our second go-round filing a disability claim. The first time she was denied - apparently this is the norm for the first application, as there is someone whose sole job is to stamp "DENIED" on all incoming claims without even reading them, hoping they won't appeal or file a new one. Well, he won last time because with all I had going on I missed the deadline for the appeal and didn't give it another thought until her illness was out of hand and required numerous hospitalizations in a short period of time. So I started the process again a couple months back. This is the first time we've been sent for a mental evaluation and this time there are so many new in patient and outpatient hospitalizations in her file - hopefully her claim will go through this time. Wish us luck! I know many of you know what a long process this can be.


After the mental evaluation Britney had an appointment with the Pdoc. We had good things to report for the first time in a long time! The Ativan on a regular schedule (1/2 mg three time a day) added to her current cocktail of mood stabilizer and anti psychotic seems to be working well and she is...(whisper voice)...stabilized. I was scared to say that word and have knocked on every piece of wood I have encountered since saying it. After many years of instability, a few knuckle splinters is small potatoes!

So although her behavior isn't perfect - I'm not looking for perfect. I'm content that I don't have to walk on eggshells, I haven't had to deal with any rages lately and I actually get smiles, laughter and joking around from Britney! That is my perfection! I am so happy and she is happy. This is just heaven!

Now that things are so calm and serene around here I hate to dredge up the bad rages and live them all over again but  I promised I'd tell you about it so I'm going to enjoy the calm for a couple of days and will post about it soon.


Wishing you balance.
~Melissa

S.O.S.



http://www.livingdesign.info/2010/08/17/ghost-by-marco-brambilla/

I, once again, have some catching up to do to get everyone  filled in on the events that have been unfolding over the past several days. To sum it up for now (I will post details soon, things have been incredibly hectic lately and free time non-existent), the Lithium was not a good fit, it caused aggression, irritability and O.D.D. in full swing. My birthday was Saturday and it was one of the worst days of my life. I gave her Ativan to combat the aggression and calm her and it worked well, I did this for two days until I could speak to the Pdoc on Monday (since my child was not going to the hospital voluntarily). The doctor decided to put her on Klonopin since the Ativan was working so well to counteract the Lithium and keep her calm.

Uhmmm, why would you change something if it's working? Klonopin is like Ativan only stronger, from my understanding, and therein lies the problem! She was supposed to take it three times a day and I got the prescription late Monday so she got one dose Monday evening and Tuesday was the first day she received the full 3 doses. Two hours after the third dose of the day, I found myself in a power struggle in my home with a child who looked and acted like she was in a drunken bar room brawl!

She refused to let me get on my computer to finish an assignment that I needed to turn in online in an hour. She became physical with me with bouts of crying between the acts of physical and verbal aggression. While this was going on her eyes were barely opened, she was slurring and her coordination was off. As a result I had to call 911 and she fought the police and paramedics that arrived and had to be forcefully taken to the hospital in handcuffs in the back of a police cruiser with me following along behind them crying so hard I could barely see.

I am now way behind in my schoolwork, have chronic pain from an old 'injury' aggravated during our struggle, missed time from work and just a bundle of nerves and prone to tears for no reason at all and my poor child is so exasperated with all of the medication changes and not finding a good fit. I promise to fill every one in on the details, but let me just say it was an emotionally and physically exhausting several days. I keep tapping out an S.O.S. but nobody answers!!


Wishing you balance.
~Melissa

Lithium and birth control

We just returned from the Pdoc - it seems like six months since we last saw him, so much has happened in that one month! He added Lithium to the medication cocktail . 300 mg twice a day. She was on Lithium back in 2009 and we didn't have good results but we have noticed that she is able to tolerate meds better now that were tried when she was younger and much smaller, so we're giving this a shot again. He also wants her to be put on birth control since she and I just discovered that just before her monthly visitor comes she sprouts horns and has the uncanny ability to turn her head completely around. He is unable to write a prescription for birth control so I must make another appointment and get her in to see our family doctor for that.
This is a blessing in two ways, since her hypersexuality episodes have me scared to death knowing it's just a matter of when, not if...
I told her we are having a condom party this weekend! I'm getting some bananas and pretty, colorful condoms and teaching her how to properly put them on and giving her some pretty condoms as party favors - just incase. I already drilled the cute slogan in her head "Don't Be Silly, Wrap Your Willy!"


 I'll keep everyone posted on the new meds and also fill you in on the adventurous month we had.


Wishing you balance.
~Melissa